Look How Far We've Come
by alwayscastle2
Summary: Sequel to Unemployed - Rick and Kate have newborn twins and a new cowriting career. They've come so far!
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys! I'm back with the sequel to Unemployed! I'm so excited to begin this journey with you! Still finishing another story right now, so my time will be split until that one is wrapped up. I hope you can bear with me! As always, thanks to my beta, my best friend, my partner in crime (even from across the country) __**burningxredxcaskett**__! Hope you all enjoy!_

**_Sadly, as much as I wish I owned these wonderful characters, I do not. They are in the capable hands of Andrew Marlowe though, so I think they're better off!_**

Chapter 1.

Kate turned the doorknob and walked into her home. She was met with – quiet? That couldn't be right. Every time she'd left the house (which hadn't been much since the babies had arrived), she'd come back to mayhem. Babies crying, Rick racing around, each of his children tucked under an arm, and clothes everywhere.

She still didn't understand how two teeny tiny human beings went through so many different onesies in one day. But it was always something. Maggie would spit up, Xander would leak, and vice versa. It was like the twins were already ganging up on them and they couldn't even hold up their heads, let alone talk. They were going to be trouble one day soon, just like their father.

Kate smiled at this thought. Where was her husband?

The quiet was almost unsettling. In the two months since they'd been home from the hospital, there had rarely been a time when their home was filled with silence.

She moved quietly through the kitchen and into the living room, but still, her husband was nowhere to be found. She crept up the stairs and into the open nursery. Her children were both sleeping soundly in their cribs. Another rarity. It seemed as though whenever one was asleep the other was awake. Not that she would change it for the world. Motherhood was – in a word, a challenge. But Katherine Castle was always up for a challenge, especially when it involved expanding their family.

Motherhood suited her. And she loved watching her husband embrace fatherhood. There was nothing sexier than a good father, and Rick had definitely not disappointed her. He was incredible.

Kate moved back downstairs, into their bedroom, and that's where she found him. Rick was on their bed, leaning against the headboard, arms crossed. Fast asleep. His head had fallen to his chest and he was snoring softly, and he had the baby monitor clutched in his hand. She couldn't help but smile. He was adorable, and clearly as exhausted as their children.

She crossed the room, sat next to him on the bed, and softly brushed the hair off of his forehead. Rick's head popped up and he looked at her.

"Are they up? What time is it?" His blue eyes were frantic as he looked around the room, then back down at the monitor in his hand. When he didn't hear anything, he visibly relaxed.

Kate laughed and pulled him in for a kiss. "Hi," she grinned when she finally released him.

"Hey." He smiled back at her, clearly still reeling from their kiss. "Are the babies - "

"They're both asleep, I just checked on them," she interrupted as she moved onto the bed and snuggled up next to her husband.

He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer. "It's a miracle. I couldn't believe it. I just put them both in there, and they were out. We must have played hard."

Kate rolled her eyes with a laugh. "I'm sure you did. You three are gonna be so much trouble when they're bigger."

Rick peered over at her. "Us three? Okay, Mrs. Castle. I'll just let you believe that, for now. I know you'll be instigating right there along with me."

She couldn't even say anything, because she knew he was right. Playing with her children and husband was the highlight of her day.

"How was your dinner with Lanie?" Rick asked as Kate burrowed further into him.

"It was nice. She looks like she's about ready to pop."

Rick chuckled. "Baby Esposito will be here before we know it."

"I never would have believed it," Kate muttered, half to herself, half to Rick.

"Believed what?"

She was quiet a moment as she tried to get her thoughts in order. "I never would have thought that the guys and I would all have children around the same time. Hell, I never really thought I would ever have children, until you came along."

"And now look at you. Wife and mother extraordinaire! Seriously, Kate. I'm so proud of you. Doing this with you," he paused as he sought the right words. He was a writer. Words were his forte, and yet, somehow, where his wife was concerned, Rick Castle best selling author could still transform into Rick Rodgers, bumbling teenager, barely able to speak to the woman of his dreams. "It's been unbelievable. I've always known you would be a great mother, but you've managed to exceed any and all of my expectations."

Kate's eyes welled up at her husband's words. She'd doubted her ability to be a great mother, but whenever she looked into her husband's eyes, she was reassured a thousand times over.

"I think we make a pretty good team," she told him finally.

"That we do, Mrs. Castle. That we do." Rick went quiet again, and just when Kate thought he'd fallen asleep again, he spoke. "Notice anything different?"

She turned to look at him, a frown on her face. Her husband was very particular when it came to his appearance, and tended to pout when she didn't notice his haircut or when he wore a new shirt.

He smiled at her. "Not on me."

She tugged her lip between her teeth as she scanned their room. That's when she saw it. Her breath hitched and she covered her mouth with her hand.

"Rick, that's amazing." Kate moved off of the bed and pulled her husband along with her until they were standing next to the wall to the right of their bed.

They had been struggling what to do with this particular wall for ages. They wanted to do something that combined their two personalities, or their family. But they hadn't been able to agree on anything.

But this. This was so much better than Kate could have imagined. And her wonderful, sweet, thoughtful husband had managed to surprise her with it, while taking care of their young children.

Rick stepped behind his wife and wrapped his arms around her as they stood admiring their newly decorated wall. At the top, were the words, _In these moments, time stood still…,_ while below were four pictures. In the middle was a picture of Rick and Kate from their wedding. They were smiling together, in the middle of the dance floor, as their friends and family were blurred around the edges of the picture. It was without a doubt one of Kate's favorites. The look on their faces as they grinned at each other was absolutely priceless. Below this picture read _Rick & Kate_ with _11/02/2014_ written below. There was a clock under the words, and it was set to three o'clock – the time they were wed.

To the left of their wedding picture was one of Alexis as in infant. Kate smiled when she saw the peaceful look on her stepdaughter's face. Alexis' red hair was apparent, even when she was a newborn. Her tiny body was enveloped in her father's large hands. _Alexis Harper_ was written under the photograph with _10/08/93_ written below. There was another clock under the words, this one set to five oh two – the time Alexis was born.

To the right of their wedding picture were two more pictures, one of Maggie and one of Xander. Each one of their twins was held by both Rick and Kate's hands. These had been family favorites, as this mimicked the picture of Rick holding Alexis.

Kate unconsciously nestled herself into Rick's side. She didn't know how many times a day she was grateful she didn't have to do this alone. She didn't know how he did it the first time around.

_Margret Johanna_ and _Alexander Mark_ were written with _04/02/15_ just below each picture. There were twin clocks below each date set at two forty-seven for Xander and two fifty-two for Maggie.

The entire wall was, in a word – perfect.

Kate didn't even realize there were tears sliding down her cheeks until Rick brushed them away with his thumb.

"Do you like it?" he asked shyly.

She couldn't find the words, and instead answered by crushing her mouth to his. Their tongues battled for dominance as their hands began to roam, fighting to divest themselves of any and all clothing on their way to the bed.

Kate pushed Rick down onto the bed and nipped at his bottom lip. "I love it," she managed to breathe out. "Thank you."

He flipped her over and peppered her with kisses along her collarbone and up her neck.

At that moment, a muffled wail sounded over the monitor, alerting them to the fact that one of their children had awakened.

They broke apart with a collective sigh, but shared a grin.

"Every time," Rick said as she shook his head disbelievingly. "It's like they know and are conspiring against us."

Kate laughed as she stood and pulled on her robe. "Barely three months old and already conspiring against us? Definitely your children."

Rick sputtered in mock indignation, which only prompted another laugh from his wife.

She threw him his robe. "Are you gonna come with me? Maggie's up, and you know Xander won't be too far behind her. If we double team them, maybe we can get back to bed." Kate wiggled her eyebrows in a very Rick-like fashion and he chuckled.

He shrugged on his robe and grabbed her hand. He loved the fact that she could identify which baby was crying, even on the monitor. Kate had gotten so comfortable with motherhood. It wasn't just that she embraced it - it was so much more than that. And it was something Rick absolutely adored watching. There was nothing better than seeing his wife nestled into the rocking chair with both of their children.

That first month in the hospital had been difficult to say the least, but they had made the most out of the situation. Xander's lungs had trouble developing at first, but now he was caught up with his sister. Both babies were happy, healthy, and Rick and Kate were so glad to have them home. It was another adjustment, but one they made seamlessly.

Yes, Rick was proud of his wife. Their whole family had been great, each person relishing in every moment they were able to spend with the twins. But Kate, Kate was still glowing. She was something special.

But then again, Rick had always known that.

He followed her up the stairs and into the nursery, and smiled as she passed him his daughter. Maggie still had her father's piercing blue eyes, and now that she was in his arms, they sparkled up at him. She was perfectly content just being rocked back and forth.

Kate shot Rick a knowing look as she crossed over to the other crib where Xander looked up at her.

"You were right," he told her.

She grinned over at him. "Hearing that'll never get old."

"Don't get too used to it." Rick's eyes were teasing though, and he knew he'd say those words again. And again. But he didn't mind. He didn't mind one bit.

_Thanks so much for reading, please share your thoughts! xo Kristen_


	2. Chapter 2

_Sorry for the delay in this chapter everyone! I got caught up with my other story It Was Supposed to Be Always…but I just finished that so now I can focus on this one! I probably won't be able to update again until next week because I'm going out of town for a funeral, but I will try to write whenever I have time! Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed the first chapter! Special thanks to __**burningxredxcaskett**__ for reading this through for me – you're the best! Hope you all enjoy this glimpse at domestic Caskett…_

Chapter 2.

"Are you worried we're gonna run out of material for Nikki and Rook? You know, since we aren't at the precinct anymore." Kate questioned quietly, out of the blue.

They were both kneeling in the bathroom, enjoying the simple act of bath time with Maggie and Xander. They'd been talking and laughing, then suddenly Kate had gone quiet. He could tell she was thinking about something, after all, he always knew, but he also knew to wait her out. She was better each and every day about opening up, but he hadn't seen this one coming.

Rick scrunched his face in thought a moment as he squeezed a bath toy at his son and watched the water splash him. Xander's eyes widened, but the joy was evident. Then, Rick spoke. "Do you ever wish you hadn't interrupted my book signing all those years ago?"

Kate gaped at him. "How could you? Why would you? Wha - " She sputtered before he gave in to her horrified face and interrupted with a shrug.

"I thought we were asking crazy questions. So I just jumped right on in there."

She elbowed him, since it was all she could manage with her hands in the middle of scrubbing her daughter's thick, wavy hair. "Rick, I'm serious."

"So am I. Babe, think about it a minute. You have enough material from before I came along, and then we had all of those years together. We have enough material for a hundred books," he assured her, deep blue eyes radiating sincerity.

Kate rinsed Maggie's hair, and then grabbed a toy to splash in front of her. Bath time was one of the twins' favorite activities, and it allowed for their parents to have fun too. She sighed.

"What brought this on?" Rick asked as he pulled the plug and grabbed a towel for each of their children.

"We haven't written in awhile. I was worried we were out of material…"

Rick glanced at her and when he saw the genuine fear splashed across her face (no pun intended), he nestled his son in his arm and reached out to pull his wife and daughter close.

He shifted so she could see him, and their two beautiful children. "I don't know if you know this," he began seriously. "But, we've been pretty busy raising two three-month-olds."

Kate laughed. "You're right. I'm being silly."

"I mean. I wasn't gonna say it," he grinned and she turned to kiss his cheek.

The door suddenly opened and Alexis came in.

"There you guys are," she said happily.

"What are you doing home?" Rick asked, clearly thrilled to see their eldest daughter.

Alexis shrugged. "Just wanted to check in on my brother and sister."

Rick and Kate's hearts warmed. Alexis had been great. Always stopping by for one reason or another, wanting to be a big part of Xander and Maggie's lives, despite her hectic course schedule.

She reached over and eased her baby brother from her father's arms. "Hey, Buddy, did you miss me?"

Xander's hazel eyes twinkled up at her as he caught a large chunk of her hair in his tiny fist and pulled.

"That's Xander for yes," Kate laughed.

Alexis giggled as she freed her hair from her brother's tight grasp. "He's awfully strong for someone so little."

Xander was small for his age, Maggie was too, but they were healthy now, and that was all any of them could ask for.

"He may be little, but he'll grow to be big and strong just like his old man," Rick said.

"Emphasis on the old," Alexis teased with a twinkle in her eye.

Kate had to bite back a laugh at the expression on her husband's face. Horror. Indignation. Then light. He knew his daughter was giving him a hard time and he loved every moment of it.

"How long can you stay?" Kate asked their eldest daughter, hoping she would be able to join them for dinner. It had only been a few days, but without the redhead at home, things didn't feel the same.

Alexis shrugged nonchalantly. "I figured I'd stay, have some dinner, maybe watch a movie."

Rick and Kate's faces lit up.

Kate opened her mouth to voice her excitement when Maggie gurgled loudly. "See! Someone's excited her sister's gonna stay for a bit."

"You want to help Kate get them dressed and I'll go get started on dinner?" Rick asked his daughter.

Alexis nodded and Rick disappeared to the kitchen, leaving the women in his life to catch up on their last few days.

"So, how's Nate doing?" Kate asked, trying to seem nonchalant as she pulled a onesie over her daughter's head.

Alexis smiled innocently. "He's great."

"Yeah?" Kate was clearly waiting for the younger woman to elaborate.

"He uh," Alexis paused and Kate raised her eyebrows expectantly. "He asked me to go camping this weekend." She blushed scarlet and turned quickly away, making a point to fuss with her brother's outfit.

"Away for the weekend, huh?"

"Yeah…" Alexis' back was still to Kate. She turned around quickly. "Is Dad gonna flip?"

Kate pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she thought for a moment. "I don't think he'll be thrilled. But you're an adult, Lex. He'll deal with it." She reached forward to squeeze her daughter's hand. "I'll talk to him, calm him down if necessary."

Each woman hoisted a child onto their hip and Alexis took a deep breath. "I guess we should go downstairs. See if he needs any help."

"You're a good kid, Lex. Your dad knows that. We both trust you." Kate followed Alexis to the stairs and they paused at the top when they heard Rick singing. They peered over the balcony and saw him dancing around the kitchen, throwing ingredients onto a pizza.

"_Old, but I'm not that old. Young, but I'm not that bold. And I don't think the world is sold. I'm just doing what we're told. I feel something so right, by doing the wrong thing. And I feel something so wrong, by doing the right_ - " Rick froze when he heard a giggle from upstairs.

"Have you been counting stars?" Alexis teased as they walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"As a matter of fact, I have," Rick grinned as he scooped Maggie up from her mother's arms and swung her in a circle. His youngest daughter let out a bubble of laughter and he beamed at her. "That's my girl!"

"Daddy's crazy, isn't he?" Kate asked as she leaned forward to press a kiss to the top of her daughter's head.

Rick looked at her with mock indignation. "Rude!"

Kate and Alexis laughed. "Oh we love you," Kate told her husband.

"So you say," he teased dramatically as he passed Maggie back to Kate and made a show of putting the pizza in the oven. "Dinner in thirty."

"I'm gonna go feed Maggie," Kate said as she motioned to the couch. "I'll be back in a few for Xander." She eyed Alexis pointedly as she passed her and Alexis took a deep breath.

"So what's new, Pumpkin?" Rick asked as he moved closer so he could make faces at his son.

"Oh you know, not much. School, homework, exams, goingcampingwithNatethisweekend, hanging with friends, you know, the usual." She tried to slip it in there along with everything else, but could tell by the way her dad's face froze that he'd caught it.

"What was that?"

"Hanging with friends?" she asked. Xander started to fuss, so Alexis attempted to move around with him. But he wasn't having it.

"You know which I mean." Rick scooped his son out of her arms and rocked him back and forth gently. Xander immediately calmed with his father's touch.

"Going camping with Nate this weekend," Alexis finally said, looking hesitantly over at her father.

"Why didn't you just say so?"

The young woman shrugged. "I was worried you'd be mad."

Rick looked at his daughter a moment, and smiled softly at her. "You know, there was a time when all it took was some rocking by your father and everything would be okay." He looked down at his son whose eyes had fluttered closed. "I was used to being the only man in your life. Loving you, and now loving your brother, sister and Kate – it's the highlight of my life. All I want is for the three of you to be happy and healthy. I like Nate. And he makes you happy. He's a good guy. Do I wish you could stay my little girl forever? Yes. But, you've grown into the most amazing young woman a father could ever ask for, and for that I am so grateful. If you want to go away with your boyfriend, you should. I'm going to support you no matter what. I love you, Pumpkin."

Alexis stared at her father a moment, clearly shocked. That was not the reaction she had been expecting.

"Thanks, Dad." She crossed over and hugged him, careful not to jostle her sleeping brother. "I may be grown up, but I promise you I will always be your little girl."

Rick kissed the top of her head. "Thank you."

Alexis grinned up at him. "Do you want me to take Xander to his crib while you finish up in here?"

"Sure, thanks." Rick passed his son to his eldest child and watched them disappear up the stairs.

He didn't even notice Kate had walked up behind him until she rested a hand on his shoulder. When he turned around he saw Maggie was asleep in her arms.

"Xander passed out too."

"I'll feed him when he wakes up," Kate told him. "You handled that really well. I'm proud of you."

"You heard?"

She nodded. "I'm impressed. I thought you'd have a harder time with that."

Rick cocked an eyebrow. "Who says I'm not?"

Kate looked at him sympathetically and rubbed his arm. "Well, you put on a good show."

"I was raised by Martha Rodgers, wasn't I? Acting's in my genes." Rick sighed. "I meant what I said though. Nate's a good guy. And Alexis? Well, she's the best."

"She is," Kate agreed. "And for the record, so are you." She kissed him softly. "I'm gonna go put Maggie in bed. Then I'll help set the table."

Rick nodded his agreement and watched as she disappeared in the same spot his daughter had. He had meant what he said. Alexis was a good kid. If Maggie and Xander were even half the kids that Alexis was, he would consider himself lucky. He knew they would be. They were part Kate after all.

As he watched the two women in his life laughing and talking as they made their way back down to him, Rick smiled, so glad to have his family together for a nice, quiet evening at home.

_Thanks so much for reading, please share your thoughts! xo Kristen_


	3. Chapter 3

_Sorry for the delay everyone – life has been pretty busy. Thank you so much to everyone for your kind words on the last chapter. You're truly the best! Special thanks as always to __**burningxredxcaskett**__ for the read through and for being there for me. Hope you all enjoy this next chapter!_

Chapter 3.

Alexis sat back and watched the scene in front of her. Her brother and sister were asleep, in twin swings, unaware of their parent's frenzied behaviour. It was definitely worth being coerced into staying the night to be able to see them like this.

Rick and Kate were running around their home in an attempt to gather all they thought they needed for a simple play date with Sarah Grace at the Ryan's. In the last ten minutes they had managed to create a small mountain by the front door, complete with a pack and play that included a mobile, toys, a large completely stuffed diaper bag, two car seats and a laundry basket filled with clothes. All for a few hours out of the house.

"What else do we need?" Kate paused, hands on her hips to survey the pile.

Rick moved to stand beside her. "I'm not sure. Do you think we need more toys?"

Alexis chuckled from her place across the room and two heads swiveled to look at her. The young woman covered her mouth to hide her laughter, but her raised eyebrows and shaking shoulders gave her away. She considered how much her parents were taking for a simple play date and wondered how large the pile would be when they went to California in the next couple of months. A month long trip versus a couple hours…she could only imagine.

"What's so funny?" Kate asked.

Alexis shrugged. "It's just – you guys look like you're moving out. Not going to a play date for a couple of hours…"

Rick and Kate turned again to survey the mountain by the door, and then laughed.

"I guess we did go a little overboard, huh?" Rick chuckled again. "We don't really need all of this, do we?"

Kate wrinkled her nose in thought. "Maybe not quite so many clothes."

Rick nodded his agreement and started organizing the pile once again just as Kate's phone rang.

She looked down at the display. "It's Jenny."

"She better not cancel on us," Rick teased. "I think we've gotta leave the house with how much preparation we've put into this."

Kate rolled her eyes, but nodded in halfhearted agreement as she answered the phone. "Hey Jenny."

Rick busied himself putting away the various items he thought they could live without but stopped dead in his tracks when he heard Kate exclaim, "What?"

Her tone had ice running through his veins. Even Alexis had frozen in place, both sets of blue eyes glued to Kate's hazel ones as she paled considerably before them.

Rick crossed the room in two long strides as Kate started to tremble.

"But – what? Where? Okay. Okay, we'll be there as soon as we can." She hung up the phone and folded herself into Rick's embrace.

"What's wrong?" he asked, not sure if he wanted to hear the news.

Kate shuddered and took a deep breath. "Ryan," she said softly. "Ryan was trying to apprehend a suspect, and he was shot. At close range."

"Wasn't he wearing his vest?"

She shook her head. "It was on a simple B&E charge. He wasn't supposed to be armed. Espo wasn't even there. When he didn't show up at the precinct and he didn't answer his phone they sent a team to look for him. Rick he wasn't responsive. He's in surgery right now, but that's all Jenny knows."

Rick wrapped his arms tighter around his wife. Why did these things keep happening to their family? Hadn't they all been through enough?

"Let's go. We can take the diaper bag and leave all the rest of it. Let's just go," Rick told her, already tugging her across the room to where their children were still napping peacefully, completely unaware of how the mood in the room had changed on a dime.

Alexis stepped up between them. "I'll watch Xander and Maggie. They don't need to be in a hospital, and you don't need to worry about them. Go on, we'll be fine."

A wave of gratitude over the thoughtfulness of their daughter washed over Rick. "Are you sure? What about your classes?"

"I don't have any until this afternoon. But if I still haven't heard from you I'll call Grams to come take over."

Kate pulled Alexis in for a hug. "Thanks, Lex. There are a few bottles of pumped milk in the fridge for when they wake up and for later on. Call if there are any problems, okay? Any problems at all."

The young redhead nodded. "I will. But there won't be. We'll be fine. This'll just give us some extra bonding time. Now, go. And keep me posted on Detective Ryan."

The couple didn't need telling twice. They each kissed their oldest daughter and blew kisses to their youngest children so they wouldn't wake them before they flew out the door.

The ride to the hospital seemed to take forever. They hit one red light after another, and it seemed as though everyone who was anyone was on the road. New York City traffic when you were in a hurry – well, you had to be prepared for a long drive.

Kate's legs were jittery and Rick's fingers kept a constant rhythm along his thighs. They couldn't sit still. Their friend, their _brother_ was somewhere across town, in a hospital, fighting for his life.

He had to be okay. He just had to be.

What seemed like hours later, the town car screeched to a halt in the ambulance bay of the hospital. Rick and Kate darted out, through the double doors and into the overly bright, yet somehow seemingly dim hallway.

The waiting area was just to their right and they immediately found Jenny and Esposito seated in the far corner. Jenny was wrapped up in Esposito's arms, shaking with her tears. When she saw Rick and Kate, Jenny stood and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Have you heard anything?" Rick asked as he tucked the petite blonde into his much larger frame for a tight hug.

She shook her head against his chest.

One look at Esposito and they knew the prognosis wasn't good.

The Latino detective had tears in his eyes and red splotches across his face.

"I should have been with him," he muttered, his voice laced with misery. "I should have been there to protect him. Partners." Esposito added the last word as an afterthought, whispered so it was barely audible.

Kate laid her arm gently over his shoulder. "Javi. You can't blame yourself. You couldn't have known."

He shrugged her off and Kate startled backwards. "Don't tell me not to blame myself. How would you feel, if you were in my shoes?"

Kate just looked at him. She opened her mouth to speak, but quickly closed it at the look on his face.

"That's what I thought," Esposito said angrily as he turned on his heel and walked out of the waiting room.

Kate sighed heavily and ran a hand through her hair. She turned back to face her husband who still had Jenny wrapped up in his larger frame.

"What can we do?" Rick asked Jenny quietly, trying not to disturb her.

She sniffled and turned her tear stained face to look him in the eye. "Just stay with me? While I wait?" Jenny looked so broken, like she was completely shattered that Rick's heart broke. What he wouldn't give to make sure the Irish detective was safe.

"You couldn't get rid of us if you tried," Rick smiled at her in what he hoped was a reassuring manner.

Kate nodded in agreement. "We'll be here for as long as you want. Where's Sarah Grace?"

"With my sister," Jenny managed to whisper. "I didn't want her around here..."

"Can I get you some coffee? Tea?" Rick asked. He wanted to distract her if it was possible, and at the moment that was the only thing he could think of doing.

"Green tea?"

"You got it. Kate? Anything?" Rick turned to face his wife and reached out to squeeze her hand.

"Tea sounds great. Thanks." Kate had been trying to avoid caffeine until she was done breastfeeding. So, unfortunately, still no skinny vanilla lattes.

Rick cast one more look over his shoulder at the two women who now clung to each other, tears staining their faces, before he disappeared around the corner.

He wasn't prepared for the sight that met him as he made his way to the cafeteria. Esposito was standing in the hallway, forehead resting on the wall, tear tracks on his face, and a bleeding hand cradled to his side. The detective looked up at the sound of footsteps and managed to rub his eyes on his shoulder to hide the traces of tears. He couldn't hide his bleeding hand though. It was rapidly soaking through sleeve of his shirt that he had tugged down to stem the flow of blood.

At Rick's questioning glance, Esposito looked at the ground. "Punched the wall," he muttered by way of explanation.

"Looks like the wall won," Rick's attempt at humor was lost on the other man.

They stood in silence for a few minutes before Esposito let out a shaky breath. "I should have been there."

Rick glanced sideways at his friend. "I know it feels that way."

Esposito just stared absentmindedly at the hospital floor so Rick took that as his cue to continue.

"I wished every day that I had jumped in time that day at Montgomery's funeral. I still do. I wish I could have taken that bullet for Kate so she didn't have to go through that agony. It's what we do with those we love. We want to protect them. But we can't always make it in time Javi, no matter how hard we try. You couldn't have changed what happened. You have to believe me."

His friend didn't answer, but when he looked up, there was understanding in his eyes. Not acceptance, but reluctant understanding. It was all Rick could have hoped for.

"What do you say we stop by the nurse's station to see if someone can take a look at that hand? Looks like the wall got you pretty good."

Esposito allowed himself to be led away, and while neither man spoke, it was clear that their thoughts never strayed from prayers that their brother would make it through his surgery.

When Rick and Esposito finally made it back from getting Esposito's hand checked out and the cafeteria, they half expected the women to have heard some sort of news, but when they walked in the room Kate gave them a slight shake of her head to indicate that they had not in fact heard anything at all.

The men sat down and handed both Kate and Jenny a tea.

"What happened to your hand?" Kate asked when she saw the thick bandage around Esposito's knuckles.

"A little wall incident," he shrugged, clearly not wanting to explain.

She decided to let it go.

The group was silent. Four sets of eyes watched the clock as the seconds ticked by.

How had this day come to this? One moment they were getting ready to join the Ryan's for a play date and the next they were sitting in the hospital waiting room, unsure of his fate.

Life was cruel.

"Why haven't they come out yet?" Jenny asked as a trembling hand reached out to grab Kate's.

It was as though someone out there was listening. Someone had heard her plea.

A doctor in navy blue scrubs pushed his way through the double doors that led to surgery. The man was pale, and he raked a hand through his disheveled hair. He glanced around the nearly empty room before his gaze settled on the foursome.

"Mrs. Ryan?" he asked and Jenny leapt to her feet, the others close behind.

"How is he?" The plea was written all over her face. Please don't tell me my husband is dead. Please.

Rick gripped Jenny's shoulders as Kate wrapped an arm around his waist. Esposito reached out and grasped Jenny's tiny hand. They didn't even realize it, but they had made themselves a unified front. The four of them, they would stand together, come what may.

The doctor sighed. "He made it through surgery. But, he's in critical condition."

That was all he was able to say before Jenny's legs gave out beneath her. Rick and Esposito managed to grab her before she hit the floor.

"He's still alive Jenny," Kate whispered when the blonde's eyes were finally able to focus again. "There's hope."

_Thanks so much for reading, please share your thoughts! xo Kristen_


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you so much to everyone for your sweet reviews! I tried to get this done sooner, but I've been sick the last couple of days and haven't felt up to writing a lot. I hope this is what you've been waiting for! Special thanks to __**burningxredxcaskett**__ for the read through! _

Chapter 4.

The next twenty-four hours seemed to go on for days.

Jenny Ryan kept a constant vigil by her husband's bed. His vitals were stable. She knew he was alive by way his chest rose and fell steadily. And yet, he didn't wake.

He didn't wake when she sat by his bed and talked about the first time she saw him. Their eyes met across the bar, and how right then she knew. He was sipping a scotch after a long day at work, and she had known from the way his mouth twitched into his boyish grin at her smile that he would find his way to her heart. She knew he would be her forever.

He didn't wake when her sister brought Sarah Grace to visit. Jenny thought that hearing his daughter babble might help bring him back to them, but it didn't. Instead, it left her feeling heartbroken that their daughter's insistent mutterings of "Dada" weren't met with his signature smile.

He didn't wake when his best friend, his brother, Esposito snuck in and tried to tease him into consciousness. It broke her heart to see the Latino detective who was usually so strong, fight back tears as he begged his partner to come back to them.

Nothing seemed to work, so Jenny spent her time with her warm hand entwined with her husband's cool one as she murmured random musings to him.

A nurse bustled in the next evening to check Kevin's vitals. She looked at the monitors, checked the IVs and then examined his wound. The woman, Pat, Jenny remembered, reported that everything looked normal.

Pat was halfway to the door when Jenny found her voice. "He's going to wake up, isn't he?" she asked quietly, wanting the answer, but wanting to remain in the dark if it was going to be bad news.

The woman gazed at her sympathetically. "His chances are good Mrs. Ryan. The only advice I can offer you right now is to pray. Think positive thoughts and keep doing what you're doing. I think he can hear you, so keep talking and telling him that you're here. It helps patients in these instances to hear from those they love."

Jenny nodded and with one quick squeeze to her shoulder, Pat bustled out just as quickly as she had entered.

The petite blonde turned her attention back to her husband. "Did you hear that Kev? Pat thinks you can hear me and I have to agree. I know you're in there fighting your way back to me. Just please don't give up. Please." Her voice broke and Jenny dissolved into tears. She needed him to be okay. He was her everything. Kevin and Sarah Grace. They were her world and her world could not be destroyed like this.

With renewed fervor Jenny started again. "Kevin Ryan don't you dare give up. Do you hear me? I'm fighting for you as best I can out here. You have to do the same. I love you Kevin. Please fight. Please."

A knock on the door startled Jenny out of her thoughts some ten minutes later.

Rick poked his head around the door and quirked an eyebrow, silently asking for permission to enter the room. When Jenny nodded, Rick walked in, followed by Kate.

"No change?" Rick asked, gesturing to the bed.

Jenny shook her head and her eyes filled with tears. Kate moved quickly to her side and grasped her hands.

"What if he doesn't - " Jenny started, but broke off into a sob.

Kate moved herself so she was right in Jenny's line of vision. "Jenny. Look at me."

She waited until Jenny's green eyes met her own. Kate plastered on what she hoped was a reassuring smile and then continued. "Kevin Ryan is one of the strongest, most determined men I know. He will make it through this based on that alone. Thoughts of you and of Sarah Grace will keep him fighting. You need to believe in him. Okay?"

Jenny nodded. "That's what I keep telling him. I know he's fighting, and he'll make it back to me soon. Thank you. Both of you."

Kate opened her mouth to speak, but Rick beat her to the punch. He swung an arm around Jenny's shoulder and pulled the two women into a hug. "You don't have to thank us, Jenny. You're family."

Jenny just nodded again and they held her while she cried.

When they broke apart after a few minutes, Jenny looked at the couple, then around the room, as though seeing them for the first time.

"How'd you get back here?" she asked. "I thought they said immediate family only…"

Rick grinned and cast a knowing look at his wife.

"We know a guy," Kate shrugged as she and Rick pulled the two free chairs to join Jenny by the bed.

Jenny shook her head and for the first time since she'd received the phone call from Esposito, chuckled. Some things would never change.

The trio settled down into their chairs while Rick tried to keep them distracted. He filled Jenny in on tales of his misspent youth – including the time he stole a police horse and rode it naked. He told tales of his nannies and their inability to keep track of him, particularly when they went to the New York City Public Library. In one instance his nanny had to call his mother because no one on staff could find him. The police had been called and they thought he had been abducted. Martha had been pulled away from her play, and was none too thrilled when he was found in the basement, attempting to have an adventure like James Bond.

Rick was glad to have an opportunity to lighten the mood, even if the laughter was at his expense. Kate hadn't heard some of the stories and found herself rolling her eyes, but still laughing as she imagined a smaller version of the man before her, always in some sort of mischief. It made her wonder what sorts of adventures Maggie and Xander would get into when they were a little older.

Kate pulled out her phone to text Alexis as she and Martha were once again watching the twins so Rick and Kate could check in on Jenny and Kevin in the hospital. As she hit send, one of the monitors whirred to life and caused the three to jump in panic.

The beeping grew stronger and Rick darted to his feet and out of the room to hail a nurse before they could even blink.

In no time the room became a flurry of movement and the trio was ushered out of the way. Tears were streaming down Jenny's face as a crash cart was brought in and she asked over and over again what had happened.

No one answered.

The scene was one of the most frightening any of them had ever witnessed. Ryan seemed to grow paler by the second while doctors were shouting orders while preparing the paddles.

Finally someone seemed to realize they were still in the room.

"Get them out of here," one of the doctors shouted and they were rushed out of the room.

If it hadn't been for Rick's arms around her, Jenny would have collapsed to the floor. He held her as she sobbed while Kate looked on helplessly. Her heart was breaking for her friend and racing for her brother on the table once again fighting for his life.

She wasn't a particularly religious woman, but Kate Castle prayed with everything that she had that Kevin Ryan would survive.

They needed him. It was as simple as that.

Kate turned her attention back to her husband and friend. Rick had eased Jenny onto a chair and was sitting with his arm wrapped around her shoulders, whispering softly into her ear. Her heart surged with love for this man, and how he could somehow manage to keep calm in a situation such as this one when most people wouldn't know what to do. He not only kept his head, he managed to calm Jenny down, and somehow, from across the room he had managed to do the same for her. He was amazing.

After what seemed like hours a doctor emerged from the room and they jumped to their feet.

"Mrs. Ryan?"

Jenny moved forward, one hand locked with Rick's, the other with Kate's. She was shaking now, and they each squeezed a hand reassuringly.

"Your husband gave us quite the fright. His heart stopped, but, thankfully, we were able to get it beating again."

Jenny let out a strangled sob and Rick released the hand he was holding so the tiny woman could fold herself into his wife's embrace.

"His heartbeat is actually stronger now than it was after surgery. I'm hopeful he'll wake in the next few hours." He moved forward and patted Jenny on the shoulder, but she seemed unable to speak.

"Thank you, Doctor," Rick spoke for her as the man nodded and moved away down the long hall.

"He's going to be okay," Kate whispered into Jenny's hair as the woman continued to shake in her arms.

She felt Jenny nod against her.

Another nurse exited Kevin's room and Rick caught her attention. "Can we go back in now?"

The woman surveyed them momentarily, then muttered a quick, "Sure," before she was on her way again.

Kate and Rick led Jenny into the room and to their chairs beside the bed.

"He looks so small," Jenny muttered quietly as she moved her thumb across his forehead to brush the hair out of his eyes.

Kate didn't say anything, she knew Jenny needed a moment, but she had to agree. Kevin Ryan was normally so full of life, always full of a smile, a laugh or a word of encouragement. She had to fight back a sob of her own. He had given them quite the fright and she wasn't anxious to let him out of her sight. She loved Kevin as though he were her own brother and she was so very thankful that the prognosis was more positive than it had been.

Rick moved to the other side of the bed so he could position himself next to Kevin's head. Both women were startled when he started to talk to the man as though they weren't there.

"Hey man, we're right here waiting for you to open your eyes. You scared us there with the whole heart-stopping thing. Jenny has been here ever since you were brought in. You've gotta give her a break. You need to wake up so she can breathe easier. Sarah Grace needs her father and Jenny needs her husband. I know you're in there listening to me and fighting. Just fight a little harder, okay? I know you can do it. I know Esposito puts on the tough guy act, but we all know you're right there with him. You may think you've got everyone fooled, but your family? We know better. You're one of the strongest people I know, and I'm begging you. Please. Please fight your way back. And if you do? I'll let you use the Ferrari, whenever you want. Just don't tell Espo."

Jenny let out a soft giggle. "If that doesn't make him wake up Rick, I don't know what will. He loves that car."

Rick shrugged. "Why don't you try again? We can leave…give you some privacy if you want."

Jenny looked back and forth between the couple for a moment, and then shook her head. "If you don't mind staying, I'd really appreciate it. But would one of you mind calling Javi to fill him in?"

Kate stood, but Rick rested a hand on her shoulder to signal he would make the call. She squeezed his hand gratefully and watched him disappear through the doorway. Kate moved her chair closer to Jenny's and gripped one hand while the woman's other hand clasped her husband's.

"Did you hear Rick, Kev? He said he'd let you borrow the Ferrari, whenever you want if you just wake up. I think that's a pretty good deal. Plus, Sarah Grace has been asking for her Dada. We miss you, Baby. So, so much."

A lone tear escaped and trailed slowly down her cheek.

The two women watched the steady rise and fall of Kevin's chest. They didn't even hear Rick's footsteps and started when he rested a hand on each of their shoulders.

They turned to look at him, but his gaze was fixed on the detective lying on the bed in front of them.

"Look," he whispered.

Two heads whipped back to face the bed, and that's when they saw it. Kevin's eyes were fluttering as though he were trying to open them.

"That's it, Baby. You can do it," Jenny encouraged her husband. "You can do it."

Rick and Kate waited with baited breath as Jenny leaned forward to press a kiss to Kevin's forehead.

The kiss seemed to be the magic touch.

Kevin opened his eyes and the blue was startling against his pale face.

"Hey Beautiful," he murmured, eyes locked on his wife.

_I apologize if any of the medical information is wrong. I'm not a doctor and don't know these things…Thanks so much for reading, please share your thoughts! xo Kristen_


End file.
